stooges

STOOGOLOGY Back to OSLA ARTS & LAWS
or
THE STOOGE IN YOU.
by Dave Spatt

In this year of 1993, I feel I must record my theory of the psychological model of the human species, which covers a broader spectrum of human behavior than previous theories including that propounded by Freud. I came up with the theory in 1990 that each man, woman and, possibly, child, though children might not have sufficiently developed to adopt threir personalities, have one particular kind of personality, or stoogality if you will.

That personality would be one of the three stooges, Moe, Larry or Curly, or in some unusual situations, Shemp or Curly Joe. The personality of each person manifests itself in that person's relationship with others who are close to them, or work with them. For instance, the Moe personality is generally the dominant one. It is not a question of self-interest, but more an innate ability to control or lead others, or cause them to be submissive.

On the other hand, the Larry personality tries to dominate others, but generally fails, especially when the other is a Moe. He is, in effect, a Moe wanna-be. Curly is someone who does not have the need or desire to control others. He would rather do what he is told and follow the lead of a Moe or Larry.

A good example of this structure of each person's role in society is in family relationships. Contrary to what most would believe after considering the Stooge psychological model, women tend to be the usual possessors of Moe personalities. In married couples, whether the men know it or not, women usually assume the dominant role, either behind the scenes or apparent for all to see. Men, as a rule, are either Larrys who believe they are in control but are really not, or Curlys who have no wish to be in control in the first place. The Curly just wants to take care of the responsiblities that are expected of them by the female personality - the Moe

A deviation from this spousal model where the wife is the Moe, is in the situation where, due to the current economic climate of this country, many married couples reside with the parents of one of the spouses. In this situation, neither the wife nor the husband is the Moe. The normally dominant spouse becomes a Larry, whose interest and judgment are subjugated by the actual Moe who is usually the family matriarch, the so-called mother-in-law. The Matriarch/Moe controls the family, including her adult child and such child's spouse living under her roof.

I have propounded this theory to many people over the years, and I have been able to place many historical figures, friends and family members squarely within the Stooge role model. It has become apparent that, once shown this psychological model, many people agree that almost everyone they know is a stooge. It has taken me three years of observation after the initial formation of my theory to realize that this Stoogology does seem to run truer than most psychological models of the human species.

This model is not intended to infer that any of the actors who played the Three Stooges, actually had the personalities as protrayed within the model. Only that, somehow, the characteristics of all humans were embodied in the characters of the Three Stooges, with some of the less-often occurring characteristics being found in Shemp- and Curly Joe-type personalities.

Stoogological Religious Doctrine
or
The Lost Book of MOE

Considering the theories propounded previously, there exists a logical argument for most religious doctrine and the roles of men and women in the various faiths of history.

    1. God is the ultimate, all-powerful, all-knowing MOE.
    2. In relationships that involve gender, moe is generally a woman.
    3. If God has a gender, she is a woman.

Various faiths and sects have seen their ultimate god as female and, in the present day, many women believe in the female god. What many women don't understand is that if God is a woman, such a prospect is actually supported by the traditional practice of most faiths where the rabbis, priests, bishops and even the Pope must be male.

Women tend to be moes in interpersonal relationships and the ultimate role of religious leaders is to answer to God. God, in her ultimate wisdom, realized that her highest servants could not be moes as that would create too much conflict within the faith. In order to avoid the potential heresy of god's servants not following her law because moes don't follow, they lead, she required that all leaders of the faiths be men. Men will be either larrys or curlys and the order of God and, ultimately, the faith itself will be maintained without challenge by the ultimate and most high MOE herself.

It is this writer's opinion that the chroniclers of the bible, Exodus in particular, were confused or misinformed as to the name of God and the identity of Moses. There was, in actuality, no Moses who went up on to the mountain of God to receive God's law. Moses was actually MOE and MOE was God. When the wandering children of Isreal were asked, "Who is your god?" They replied, "Moe is." The scribes misunderstood and believed that the faithful had answered "Moses" and that the name was a reference to their prophet or leader. From such confusion did biblical history begin.

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